This post is actually a tough one for me to write, because I think this topic can be a touchy one.
The phrase “become one with your husband” tends to be looked on with uncertainty. In the society we live in, women are encouraged to be their own person.
Let me just say at the get-go, I agree with that! I do not believe God created you to be an identical twin to your husband. But being your own person as a married woman is different then when you were single…in my opinion.
What I really want to talk about today is how getting married has changed me and my motivations in life.
We all have things that we are passionate about and usually spend our single years pursuing them. Depending on the passion and how early a woman gets married, she might have even invested a lot of time and money into an education and getting started in a job field.
Fun Fact: I’m a licensed cosmetologist. Have been for seven years now. Before getting married, I worked full time in a salon since graduating school and loved every minute of it!
Makeup, skin care and overall beauty has been my focus for as long as I can remember. I was teaching classes on it before I went to cosmetology school and was making money in that field since I was 15.
I did not mention any of this in the About page because it really plays a very small role in my life now…and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
When Josh and I got married I continued to work at a salon for about six months. But since I got pregnant almost immediately, we soon decided that I should stay home, since the fumes in a salon are so bad for the baby.
Still feeling like I should be somewhat in my field, I began to sell Mary Kay Cosmetics from home. It worked out well until our little Heidi was born and my ability to make confirmed hour-long Mary Kay appointments went out the window.
Josh and I felt very strongly that we wanted our children to be raised by us solely. Occasionally our parents or grandparents will watch her so we can go out or I can get caught up on some things. But 95% of the time it’s Josh or I with her.
I was told by Mary Kay friends that I should just hire a babysitter 2-4 days a week. Then I could work my business, have good ME time, and still be mostly home with my daughter.
Let me emphasize that I am NOT saying anything against anyone that works outside the home full- or part-time. What you and your husband are led to do with your family, children and finances is your decision alone.
But even though finances can be tight and no, I don’t get a lot of ME time…we wouldn’t change our decision for anything in the world.
The truth seems tough
Since giving up everything makeup (excluding the daily application on my face), I have been asked many times if I miss it. I honestly haven’t missed it at all. But what surprises me even more, is that I was so happy doing something that is so temporary, in comparison, to the blessings I have now.
My life now belongs to my husband. Everything I do during the day is serving him, our children and our home. My every passion is centered around Christ’s calling for me, which is to first be a wife to Josh, then a mother to Heidi and finally a keeper of our home.
Becoming one with your husband is sooo much more then a sexual context. It is realizing that God will call your husband in the direction your family is supposed to go. Your one job is to follow and support that direction.
If you are working outside the home because your husband asks you to, you are serving him well! But for those women that feel they are letting down their gender or forgetting who they are if they stay at home “barefoot and pregnant”…I must disagree.
I have never felt happier or more fulfilled or had more purpose then right now! My days are full helping my husband complete his God-given calling, raising my sweet daughter to follow Christ, and making our home the sweetest place for our family to gather.
Can life be more sweet or purposeful then that??
Still finding your niche
Remember, I am not suggesting that you forget what makes you unique and simply become a clone of hubby! God gave me unique talents and passions for a reason.
Becoming a stay-at-home mom on a limited budget has given me the opportunity to take my makeup skills and learn how to use Walmart makeup to achieve a professional look.
Because of my past as a hairstylist, our family will never have to pay for a professional haircut.
Outside of the beauty realm, I have always been an organized, semi-OCDish personality. But I have realized what an asset this is as I am running a house with a growing number of soon-to-be homeschooled children.
I will be encouraging our girls to be stay-at-home moms someday. But I will also be motivating them to pursue their passions and interests because you never know how God can use them.
I would like to wrap up by saying that my biggest point in this post is that following your husband’s call is the most rewarding life there is. This may look different for everyone depending on your home, children and finances. But the call for us wives is the same: become one with your man!
Please let me know your thoughts and input!