If you have read any of my other posts I am sure you have picked up on the fact that I could spend all day talking about the joys of homemaking and the importance that our role has on our family and on society!
But a proverbial brick has hit me upside the head this past week and it is this: behind almost every great stay-at-home mom there is a great provider-husband! And he is so often forgotten…
My life has been so crazy with new and daunting experiences popping up literally every day, but I have recently been convicted that I am forgetting the person that has made my blessed life possible.
Mom’s point of view
Just to make sure we are all on the same page, I believe it is justifiable to make mention of the way we moms view our day and our reality.
My life right now is especially crazy:
- I have a teething 10-month-old who just learned how to scurry all around the house.
- My belly seems to be growing by the day with another little one due in just 2.5 months.
- We have decided to put our house on the market and move closer to where my husband works. I am keeping it in a constant “show” condition and am ready at a moments notice to grab my daughter and get out of the house so it can be shown.
- I am trying to prepare the house to be packed up and moved the moment we get an offer so that we can be moved in by the time baby #2 comes along.
- And I have started a new and incredibly exciting blog!
Granted, all of these things are very exciting, but I’m sure you’ve had moments where your life was filled with exciting and wonderful things to the point of feeling overwhelmed.
Usually when my husband gets home I talk his ear off because, as I remind him, “my best buddy during the day is as sweet as all get out, but not a very good talking buddy!” haha
And, of course, we mothers have our fair share of worries throughout the day.
“Am I doing all I can to keep us under budget?”
“Oh! I wish there was a way I could be more help to my husband as he tries to provide for us!”
“Am I training our child well?”
“Does ‘symptom x’ mean I should take the baby to the doctor?”
“Will I be prepared for the next stage of my children’s life?”
All this to say, our life is very full, very draining and often very nerve-racking! And it’s sooooo easy to let our focus stay there. Then the moment our sweet husband walks through the door, we pounce on him and ask him for the edification and reinforcement that he appreciates all we do.
And we completely forget to take a look at the other side…
Dad’s point of view
Since becoming a mom, I have gradually come to appreciate my husband’s point of view and am working on changing my response accordingly.
Hopefully, some of your husbands have jobs they absolutely love and look forward to going to every morning. My husband is not currently in that situation. And even if he did have the “job of his dreams”, he still would not prefer it to being with his family.
This is what my husband’s day looks like:
- Out the door at 7am (before our daughter wakes) to drive an hour to work
- Works a very hectic 10 hour day doing something that he doesn’t particularly care for
- Drives an hour home and gets home anywhere between 7-8:30pm, and usually has about 15-30 minutes of daddy/daughter time before our she has to go to sleep
- We finally get to eat dinner between 8:30-9:30pm and then go to bed
- Starts it all again the next day
Some other things that make it tough for him is that, although he loves to see pictures of his little sweetie, the pictures that I send to him throughout the day are constant reminders of the moments he is missing at home.
I also know that there are times when he walks through the door (and I start telling him about all the tough things that happened to me) and feels unappreciated for taking on the “worse” job. He also is looking for the edification and reinforcement that I appreciate all that he does.
One big happy family
As soon as I found out I was pregnant with Heidi it seemed like EVERYONE was suddenly pregnant! I had THREE friends who delivered in the same hospital within 24 hours of when I did!
Eightish weeks after that, several of my new mom friends had to go back to work…when I saw their sad posts on Facebook, I picked up my sweet Heidi and cried at the thought of having to leave my little newborn with strangers all day, every day! I feel so blessed.
When I sit and think about all the craziness that is going on in my life right now, I realize that every crazy, hectic moment is a moment that I am able to spend with my sweet daughter. They will live on in my memories forever!
Her first smile, first bite of food, first time turning over, first time crawling, first hug… they are all moments that would have been experienced by a stranger if I was not able to stay home with her.
Molding her mind and heart to follow Christ and live her life well are not things I will have to entrust to someone else for eight hours a day…praise the Lord!
But none of this would be possible if my dedicated husband had not embraced his role as the family provider. If he decided to look after himself and catered more to his desires and want rather than our families needs, my daughter’s best daytime buddy would be someone else.
Conclusion
So tonight, and every night, I want to tell my husband: “Thank you for working so hard today. Thank you for loving us so much. And thank you for putting us first. You are such a wonderful husband and daddy and we will never forget all of the sacrifices you are making!”
What sacrifices does YOUR husband make every day? And what message do you want him to hear and remember every time he gets discouraged?